> whenever you've heard of company A poaching employee Y from company B, has it really subtly made you think of Y as a helpless object?
Yes. If that wasn't what someone was trying to convey, why did they pick the word "poach" in the first place? The whole point of using that word is to evoke a metaphor where the hired employee is mere game animal ensnared by the company.
> I think of the two companies plying Y with enticements, with Y manipulating them until (s)he finally gets rich rewards with the new company.
"Hire" is a good verb for that.