How long before another follow-up email is warranted?
When does it make more sense to assume they're just not into you, and move on?
- "So what's you're process moving forward?" Specifically, as to whether there will be additional rounds, or they're done and have all they need from you to make a decision.
- "When can I expect to hear about [the next step]?"
- "And when's the latest I can expect to hear something?"
The last one is crucial, so you'll want to (gently) nail it down as best as you can. So if they say "within a few days" on a Tuesday, you can say "So by the end of the week, or at the latest, beginning of next week?". That will solidify things in their mind, and gently remind them that it will be somewhat rude if they don't respond to you by then.
It also makes the question of whether to send a follow-up mail much less gut-wrenching (and in my view, pretty much removes the need for it altogether). By that I mean do send a thank you note (24-48 hours later, max). But once you've nailed down the response window with the primary decision maker, it's really in their court. If you want you can send a proper follow-up mail, gently reminding them that you were expecting to hear something by about that time. Strictly speaking, you don't need to -- if a shop doesn't respond (in any form) on a time frame more or less in line with when they explicitly said they would (thanks to your making a point to ask while on-site), you can be pretty sure they aren't, as the saying goes, all that into you.
But then again, you don't need to care, either -- because everyone knows that's just shabby, and that shops that do that don't really have their act together. And would probably treat you shabbily in other ways, were you to start working for them.
† But for good measure, go ahead and ask him/her, also. Because it usually ends up being their job to write the actual rejection email, should you be lucky enough to get one.
in a past job, i realized my boss had not wanted to hire me and had effectively been overriden by someone further up the org chart -- it cast the interviews and phone calls i'd had in an entirely new light, and is part of what has prompted me to soberly evaluate every step of the interview/onboard process during job hops now.
Interestingly, I once had someone override me about hiring someone I recommended a pass on, and that person turned to be quite good. Not that this should be done lightly. But that experienced caused me to step back a bit, and look at how I was making snap judgements about people (and yes, perhaps letting the authority of deciding others' fate go to my head a bit).
On that note, you keep looking, even if you had the greatest interview ever. Until someone starts paying you, you aren't hired.
And if someone does make an offer, tell them you want a day or two to think about it.
Remember, you are super eager to start, but usually the business is doing business as usual. So play it cool.
The best possible situation is you get a couple of offers at the same time, so you have options.
And if you start somewhere, then a week or two later your dream job calls, then quit and go follow your dream.
Good luck!
If they aren't following up quickly they are mostly likely passing.