We've been struggling in our recent retros to find any negatives to talk about, and I've been trying to make sure we're not averse to making suggestions that might feel like complaints.
Most people have no trouble being critical. Getting away from that tends to be hard work and can make it easier to accomplish things.
/2 cents
We're definitely not averse to complaining! For example, when someone writes a spec that fails randomly, that definitely gets brought up, because it affects everyone's productivity. Someone usually volunteers to help fix it, and we circle back at the next retro to make sure that it's been fixed. Complaining is A-OK as long as you're also committed to finding solutions!
I am more reticent to bring up negative stuff, especially if it's mostly about myself, if my boss's boss, marketing people, lead of product, and the finance person are all sitting in on the retro. If it just manager, project manager and the rest of the engineering team, then I feel way more comfortable sharing in that kind of safe space.
Most of the things you get congratulated on during these events are things that the company pays you to do, and as other people said, they're not actionable. "Keep doing your job competently!" is not really an action item.
For me at least, pointing out friction and drag is a far more useful way of improving both my own skills and the amount of work the team is able to put out.
Everytime I hear congratulations on things, unless they are truly extra ordinary, I just tune out. This meeting happens every other week. What are the chances of that many extraordinary efforts being exerted every two weeks?
To your other point: are we celebrating mediocrity? I don't think so. While the things we call out may not fit your definition of "extraordinary", when the main discussion points are around how you can improve, it is important to celebrate wins, even small ones, to see how you have improved.
Here's a song for you: https://youtu.be/gH476CxJxfg?t=1m
One of the things I love about LH is how different our retro process is from the places I've worked before. It's in the middle of the day, and it's so open and friendly!
I'd love to hear what all of you do at your retros and what you like/dislike about them!
