Next, there is no obvious relationship between the site and FB - it's some random article on some random other site, say the NY Times, on some random, say potentially embarrassing topic. However, there's a FB "like" button, or some other tracker.

Now, the site might just get some ID with demographic data (and hobbies and what have you). But FB now knows that you read that article (how could it have told you, otherwise, that John Smith read it?). That might not be a surprise to you, having some knowledge in the industry, but I submit that many if not most people find it both surprising and creepy.

Next, your argument seems to be that with some more education people would not find it surprising, and neither creepy, because adtech is so well behaved and under strict guidelines and "no evil" and all. So, at that point we'll just have to disagree.