Start small. I am going to refer you to some scripture but I am not asking you to accept it a priori as truth, only to investigate whether there may be any truth in it. Hebrews 11:6 says that he who comes to God "must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him".
Essentially what I am asking you to believe is the truth of "seek and ye shall find"... that it is possible to find, provided that you seek.
I am not telling you what you will find, how you will find it, what it will look like or sound like, etc., but only that there is something waiting to be found.
Then if you take some steps towards God, you will be rewarded and you will learn a little bit about faith Again I am not going to presume I know exactly what those steps are for you but I will tell you I believe with all my heart that there ARE steps you can take, and even if you take the wrong steps, as long as you are seeking God I believe that he will reward you for your efforts, if only by correcting you from your misguided path.
I hope this has been helpful. God bless.