I would ask him for his favourite ice cream, take him out to the supermarket if he likes to come with me, buy a 2L box of it, and let him eat it the whole night if he wishes. Be happy he's enjoying the moment, enjoy it yourself, connect with him. Repeat this every night until he wants to eat something else. He has to find out, using his own experience, why it's unpleasant to eat only ice cream for dinner every night, so that, one day, a week from now, a month, two months, he would choose to eat proper dinner because he truly wants to, from his heart, rather than doing it because his parents are forcing him to.
If he's going to be a broken man either way, at least he grew up with a father who listened and empathised with him, and accepted him for who he is, rather than being physically restrained in bed, yelled at and controlled.
To love someone, we accept their choices, even when we know those choices have bad consequences, at the same time we trust they will eventually find their own way.
mom and sisters.
How does your wife react, and what does she actually feel? Inside she's upset and hurt and worn out to be blamed for something outside of her control, but I have a hunch she doesn't act that way in front of him. You can't force her to be vulnerable in front of him, but you could redirect his anger to yourself, explain to him why you're doing that (your wife is worn out and you want to protect her), and then you could choose to show him your sadness when he's angry at you.
I put "natural consequences" in quotes because I think it's a joke.
I'd love to know if any techniques I could try, that would work, while treating it as a joke. I'm serious.
The very highest if barely known.
Then comes that which people know and love.
Then that which is feared,
Then that which is despised.
Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.
When actions are performed
Without unnecessary speech,
People say, "We did it!"
Tao Te Ching - Chapter 17