Don't be so dramatic. This is me every day. It's ADHD meets debt, family obligations, and dead-end job. A lot of entrepreneurs/wantrepreneurs and devs have ADHD. Can't do much about it unless I pop pills, which I'm not overly keen on doing. I'd rather find something to do that motivates me to get out of bed at 5am every day.

I'll second this. Having suffered from chronic depression for decades, those symptoms are very familiar.

While there are always ups and downs in life, general disconnection with the world would be good to dig deeper into.

I already am. That's why mentioned 'many factors involved'. Thanks!